Writer Arundhati Ghosh is opening up conversations that are still rarely heard in India with her new book, All Our Loves: Journeys with Polyamory in India. The book explores polyamory, the idea that a person can love and care for more than one partner at the same time, with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved, a subject that continues to be surrounded by silence, misunderstanding, and stigma.
For Ghosh, this book was not meant to show polyamory as just a trend or a theory. She wanted to question the common belief that loving only one person at a time is the only right way to love. Her goal was to gently challenge this idea and make polyamorous people feel seen and less alone. The book also reaches out to curious readers, sharing real stories that show both the happiness and the hard work that come with these relationships.
Ghosh started writing the book after Aienla Ozukum from Aleph suggested the idea. At first, she felt overwhelmed by how big and complex the topic was. Polyamory is not only about relationships; it also involves issues like consent, power, patriarchy, tradition, and social control. These challenges became her motivation to write. Ghosh says that love is never easy, and it gets even harder when it goes against old social rules.
While writing, Ghosh found support and new ideas in other books. All About Love by bell hooks made her think about love in terms of gender, race, and class. Stories from the Mahabharata gave her a better understanding of how people handle relationships within systems of power. These influences helped her see polyamory as not just a personal choice, but also a political way to live and love. She also shares that she is currently reading Butter, a book she is very involved with.
Writing All Our Loves was emotionally challenging. Ghosh needed to support the people she interviewed and face her own complicated relationship history. To manage, she found comfort in small, quiet routines like spending time with the plants on her balcony, listening to them, and finding strength in what she calls their silent courage. She hopes to keep this habit of listening in the year ahead.
Arundhati Ghosh will discuss these ideas further in a session called A Thousand Loves: Ways of Being Polyamorous, where she will speak with Priya Ramani on January 17 at The Hindu Pavilion. Through her book and talks, Ghosh encourages readers to see love not as a set of strict rules but as something that grows and changes, grounded in care, honesty, and consent.